Cant repeat

I was listening to some music the other day and a song came up that I've always liked, Can't Repeat by The Offspring. It is kind of related to a lot of things going on in my mind, I don't know what the song was originally supposed to mean but this is what it reminded me of, The first line of the song goes like this:

I woke the other day And saw my world has changed

I've been home for about 7 months this week, and... well I can't really describe It but I cant really describe to you the last little bit of my life, the last seven months kinda feel like a very lucid dream, and when I finally "woke up" (happened to be at the temple dedication on Sunday) I made a lot of connections that I hadn't been able to make. I miss my mission everyday and I think that's normal, I always knew I missed my mission but I had never been able to figure out what to do about it, going back really isn't an option for me, the next bit of song that stuck out to me is this:

Memories are bittersweet
The good times we can't repeat
Those days are gone and we can never get them back

The Memories of my mission really are bitter sweet and that's why the entire situation was so hard for me to figure out, more on that later. The next two lines describe how I feel sometimes, I've listened to this song many times the last 7 months and those where the ones I focused on. That's kind of a bleak outlook on my situation now that I think about it, that being said the truth is I'm never going to have that same kind of experience again.


Back to the memories are bitter sweet line, coming back was really hard for me to do and it was even harder for me not to feel like I failed, and if you look at it with thoughts of failure, what good can you say about the way you acted, the way that you went about daily things and most of all what can you say about what you learned. For the longest time I thought to myself that I needed to find a different way to go about life. It was logical for me to believe that if trying the way I did on my mission was flawed enough to bring me home it obviously wasn't very good at all, but what about those good memories I had?

I've realized that it wasn't the way that I handled or how much I changed that sent me home, it was the environment, missions are tough and you have to deal with a lot of stresses that normal people don't even think about, and ultimately what it was that sent me home (I believe) was thinking that I needed to change. I'm in a different environment now and while its not void of stress it is a lot easier, I know now that if I apply the things I learned on my mission and try my best to be the same Dan Box that I was out there I'll blow everything away, because quite frankly I was awesome! Anyway I'm sure some missionaries come home and already know this but it took awhile for me to figure it out.

My goal for the next couple of years is to strive to be what I became on my mission, I don't need to hide from it because it was good and the Lord accepted my service and now I accept that my service was good, I know I did the best I could and that's all that matters, I know that if I become as teachable as I was on my mission I will progress like I did, and that I can adapt to whatever comes my way.

the last part of the song that I want to talk about goes like this.

Now we must move ahead Despite our fear and dread

to be honest I don't know whats going to happen but I'm going to move forward.